Tag Archives: TV

My Future is Imaginary

As I get further and further into my (damned damned damned) thesis, and closer to the end of my comfort zone student-ness, I find myself questioning where I am and where I want to go within publishing. I’m reaching and grasping in the air for this thing that doesn’t exist anymore, or at least… it feels like it doesn’t exist anymore. A… figment, if you will. [Insert cheeky grin here.]

It used to be, you had a track. Overly simplified, it was  Editorial intern –> Editorial Assistant –> Editor.

Alas, this is not necessarily the case anymore. In an industry rife with nepotism and aging management, it is tough for a kid to get a break. (/whining).

Beyond just the things working against us, there’s also the constant change that’s happening within the industry (UM HAI iPAD!), and the pundits opinions as to what it all means or where it will take us. Obviously, no one really knows.

Stop just saying whether or not a device will fix us, and how about hey, come up with some new models or ideas. Stop waiting for tech companies to do all the revolutionalizing you poor shmucks*. … That was probably uncalled for and kind of really mean. But you know what I’m saying.
*(When I say “shmucks” I mean everyone who has ever said anything about the topic ever. Not the participants in that video, I don’t even know them.)

Instead of jumping on every bandwagon you see, or stealing and slightly altering someone else’s AMAZING INCREDIBLE SPECTACULAR-SPECTACULAR idea for the future, how about doing a little brain storming and coming up with something new and improved and (dare I suggest it?) unique.

… Yes, yes, I’m ranting. What else is new?

It might be said that now’s not the time for one person to be doing anything. Everything that can be owned is already owned, and someone’s already done everything that could possibly be done. (… maybe). Not that we’ll ever really know when everyone who can actually make a real difference in publishing is too scared to actually do anything interesting.

(I will note here that HarperStudio was new and interesting and done by a company that was big enough to make a difference. Of course, the imprint is now defunct, but the thought was there! The potential was there! Yay Harper! … Now just get rid of that ole’ dinosaur you call Dad, and we’ll be good to go.)

In an example of the ridiculous end of the spectrum: I went to a luncheon a few weeks ago to see a group of industry bigwigs talk about the future of publishing. First of all: HA. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha.

… Sorry, I just had to get that out of my system.

So, a question was posed to the two people representing traditional book publishing. The question centered around the consumer who will actually be purchasing the book. The representatives fumbled a bit before noting that, well yes, they didn’t really have a lot of contact with the actual consumer and so couldn’t really answer the question.

And people think the issue is that no one is reading anymore and there are too many venues for content and entertainment.

I say: LOL.

But I digress, this isn’t a post about what people are doing wrong. Not really. This is a post about not knowing where we fit in. We, the young, hopeful, bright eyed interns and assistants who want so badly for the book to never go away. We’re not being used to our potential, and that is so, so depressing.  Use us! We have pep and vitality!*
*In no way do I condone using crystal meth to make Book Publishing better. Unless it proves to work. In which case: Bring on the meth labs. I am so in.

So where do we go now? It’s never been more difficult to get into this industry. And once you’re in, it’s never been more difficult to move around. The thought of the future makes me want to vom a little. I can’t lie. It’s a big question, I know. And one that currently has no answer.

I am where I am, and I be where I be.

Teh End.

But not really! (Fooled you, suckas!)

I’m gon’ take this here future into my own hands (which will be full and complete because no matter what emails I get today, I will not cut my own fingers off in protest).

… I am a cocky little bastard, aren’t I?

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Filed under Life, Things I Find Interesting

Imaginary Boyfriends

It’s funny how we all have these first and second and third (^n) loves. This is a post to glorify them. These beaus, these perfect men. Perfect men we’ll never know or really have. Because well, they don’t exist.

I’ve been discussing this with some friends, and it’s hilarious that the minute I ask “who were your imaginary boyfriends?” nobody was confused. It was generally followed by a half hour of OMG I looooooooved him when I was 12!! etc, etc. I don’t mean actors or musicians or whomever. Because, shoot. This is about the movie you saw when you were 13 and you knew you were going to love that boy forever. (debbiedowner) This is also the reason most of us will never truly be satisfied because what we’ve been tailored to want just isn’t in this world. (/debbiedowner) The list just kept growing with every conversation I had. I’m going keep it to a few key characters that were mentioned by more than a few people, but the rest will get an honorable mention below. Because g’damn. I would not take the dreaminess away from you.

Who’s excited for this list?!

I didn’t have a plan for the organization of this list, but I think I’m going to go with chronologically. That being said, let’s begin.

Casper
Casper

Ask any girl who got to see Casper when she was anywhere from 10 – 13. When Devon Sawa walked down those stairs to dance with Christina Ricci, aye dios. We were all so fucking jealz. Of course, then we saw Now & Then and were like okay, they need to be Together 4-Ever.

Laurie
Little Women

Not gonna lie, I didn’t even make it through this scene. Because we all know that a) Jo is a complete douchy moron for saying no to Teddy and b) it was absolutely mortifyingly unfair that bratty little sister Amy ends up with the Marchs’ boy-next-door. We all loved him in the book, and it didn’t hurt that Christian Bale brought him to life in the movie. Ugh, Amy. She gets my knickers in a twist, that’s for effing sure.

Other childhood book / movie favorites: Dicken (The Secret Garden), Huck Finn (Mark Twain’s character, Disney’s Tom & Huck and Huckleberry Finn, played by Brad Renfro and Elijah Wood, respectively).

Zack Morris
Saved by the Bell

So, in looking for this video, I ended up watching at least a half an hour’s worth of Saved by the Bell clips. Including Barbara Ann. Yeah, it’s still funny. But anyway, Zack Morris. How could we not love the guy who tried to sell Bayside High to the Japanese. Not to mention, he’s in a band. Friends Forever, right? So in trying to find a fun little quote about Zack and his penchant for mischief and scheming, I ended up reading his entire wikipedia page. Dude, this kid is money. I’d totes marry him.

Other teen sitcom loves: Eric Matthews & Sean Hunter from Boy Meets World, Uncle Jesse, and a host of TGIF favz

Now, let’s take a break and get animated. We can’t lie about it. Disney Movies, Anime, Comics. There are a shitton of places to find the impossible. Here we go,

Dimitri
Anastasia

Voiced by John Cusack, Dimitri was 1) named Dimitri (hai, good name) and 2) a swift talking con man. He also cleaned up quite nicely, in the most blatant copy of Jack Dawson ever**. He had that lovely floppy hair we all loved in 1998.

**There’s actually a video that exhibits this very idea of Anastasia being ridiculously similar to Titanic. Unfortunately, you have to sit through 2 minutes of the similarities between Cinderella and that Hilary Duff movie that had Cinderella in the title. … I would just fast forward.

Aladdin
Aladdin

He is the most noble street you will ever meet. His best friend is a monkey. He steals from the rich. And he has a giant blue genie. But hey, he doesn’t like to wear shirts – I mean, Agraba is broiling, son. I get it. He’d age better than SNL would have us believe.
Other Disney princes that should be mentioned: Eric (even though he’s not very smart), Charming (can’t hate on the original lover and fighter, can we ladies?)

Gambit
X-Men

Fangirls and fanboys alike geeked out over Remy LeBeau. When his name came up on Striker’s database of mutants in X2, we all freaked (for no reason it turned out, but still, we freaked). For some it was his completely BAMFness. For others, it was his saucy cajun accented dirty Anglais, kick ass kickassity, and his complete disregard of Wolverine’s authority. Which was awesome.

Oh, and the fact that he was in love with Rogue and it was totes adorbs. Didn’t hurt that he had that hair and that chin. He was dannnngerous, gurrl.

Honorable mentions: Dream, the emo king ❤

God this post is long. But, hey. Whatevz.

Let’s get back to the 3D, shall we?

Ah, the dramas. The king of imaginary boyfriends Drama-style is of course:

Dylan
90210 (the original)


Okay, first of all, this video is awesome. If your friend isn’t home and you left something in their house you do not break their window to get inside. Why-the-face, Brandon. Jeez.

Secondly, Dylan McKay is the original heart breaker. The bad boy, with that coifed hair. So what if Luke Perry looked 25 when he was supposed to be in high school. (James Van Der Beek looked 32, so it could have always been worse). And yes, he strung Brenda and Kelly along for years, being the phillandering asshole that he could be. But he was sensitive underneath. A real sensi.

Other first loves: Ephram (Everwood), Cute Dean / Jess (Gilmore Girls, I’m not linking to Jess because I hate him), Ben Covington (Felicity) … pretty much any show from the WB pre-2006, Dr. Robert Chase (House), Clark Kent (Lois & Clark), Don Draper (Mad Men – and I say “boyfriend” here, not husband, I’d be his lady on the side, no doubt) and I almost forgot! BUT SAM FREAKING SEABORN FROM THE WEST WING. He’s the master.

Then we got to the point when we were a little older and old movies started being cool. Because now we got their appeal. And so,

Ferris
Ferris Bueller’s Day Off

He is amazing. We all know it. I’m going to leave it at that. Also, the black troupe of dancers doing the Michael Jackson thriller dance in the middle of Twist & Shout is pretty much the shit.

Other mentions: Randall “Pink” Floyd from Dazed & Confused, AJ, Mark and Lucas from Empire Records, Ducky from Pretty in Pink (because God knows that Andrew McCarthy was a shit in that movie), “Jake Fucking Ryan” (16 Candles, for Alexander).

I’ve so far (other than Little Women) refrained from talking literature boyfriends. But there is at least one that I have to mention for fear of being shot.

Mr. Darcy
Pride & Prejudice

Whether he’s just on a page, played by Colin Firth (as in this clip), Matthew McFayden or that guy from Lost in Austen, Mr. Darcy is The One. We all of us wanted to be Lizzie Bennett and become misteress of Pemberly. He’s haughty and elitist, and rough and not particularly nice – but peel those layers and homeboy got game. Also, the official BBCWorld Youtube channel named the clip shown here “Pride & Prejudice: The Lake Scene (Colin Firth Strips Off)” which I found hilarious. I bet a 14 year old girl runs their youtube site.

Also see: Heathcliffe (Wuthering Heights), Levin (Anna Karenina), Michelangelo (The Agony & the Ecstacy), D’Artagnan (The Three Musketeers / Man in the Iron Mask), and a variety of other nerdy teenage boys in YA lit that we all totally love.

In recent years, there has been an even more abundant crop of imaginary boyfriends. I blame TEH INTERWEBZ. For example:

Jim Halpert
The Office

This whole day has turned into me trying to find an appropriate youtube clip, and then watching 30 minutes worth of clips just for fun. Bears, beets, Battlestar Galactica. Some some of you may hate Jim, because he can be smug and he’s the cute boy, and so on and so forth. But his pranks on Dwight and his complete infatuation with Pam make him a great, great imaginary boyfriend. Cuz girl, you know he’d treat you right. Damn.

Other current boyfriends: Marshall & Barney (from HIMYM), Chandler (Friends), JD or Turk (Scrubs, of course if you get one, you’re signing up for the other), Cappie (Greek, this is a case where I seriously need this character to be my boyfriend… not the actor, ever) J’s response to my “Sitcoms Boyfriends” query was: i’d live alone before a guy on seinfeld – so there’s that.

Brian Kinney
Queer As Folk

Many of you are unfamiliar with Brian Kinney, but rest assured he is the epitome of an imaginary boyfriend. A complete asshole, he treats everyone with disdain and is definitely misanthropic and cocky to a fault. However, he has a heart of gold and really will give up everything to make sure the people he loves are a-okay. Obviously, this is a win. Also, fair warning, there are boys kissing in the above clip. Oh right, he’s gay. That’s another thing he’s got going for and against him. Sigh. That’s a whole other level of inaccessibility. Whew.

Of course, that does open up a landfield of gay imaginary boyfriends. But that’s a whole other post, I think. One that I just haven’t got the energy for – my apologies, dear readers.

Well holy hell, I might be spent. I’m sure there were people left off, and avenues not trodden. But there’s always next time. And I know this shit was long, and I didn’t cut it – but it’s also a judgment call. Mine. Bazinga. If you did get this far in your reading –

Until next time, fronds. Check ya later.

EDIT: one of my lovely coworkers / readers was inspired to create this:

Keep ’em coming, kids!

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Filed under Fun Times, Life, Things I Find Interesting

i woke up this morning and my body was like “you’re a jerk.”

in which I create a post with a lost of videos.

things not to do during Navaratri: go to power yoga the night before garba.

… definitions:

Navaratri: Nava = 9, rātrī = nights, is a Hindu festival of worship and dance. The word Navaratri literally means nine nights in Sanskrit; Nava meaning Nine and Ratri meaning nights. During these nine nights and ten days, nine forms of Shakti/Devi are worshipped.
(wiki link)

Garba: is an Indian form of dance that originated in the Gujarat region. (wiki link)

I had to search through a bunch old Ba garbas (… garbas for old people) to find a decent clip of one from youtube, so here you go:

I’m not going to find one for Raas, you kids can do that yourselves. For serious. I don’t like any of you that much. 😀

So anyway, I had a total bollywood night last night. Including, but not limited to:

Running in the rain in our Indian clothes:

Playing Antakshari:


Antakshari is an Indian song game where you sing two lines from a song and the next player sings a song with the last sound of the previous song. IT IS THE BEST GAME EVER. Everyone on the NJT loved it. Even the guy who shushed us.

and Dancing at the Train station:

The whole night was, as garba always is, amazingly awesome and fantastic. And, in sticking with tradition, now my legs feel like they’re going to fall off. Or at least go on strike. So anyhow, there’s your cultural lesson for the day.

In other news. I was watching SNL clips this morning, and Keenan has a new character. Who may or may not be an intentional derivative of one of his much older characters.

Jean K. Jean (2009):

Vodpod videos no longer available.

And, lest we forget, PIERRE ESCARGOT:

Seriously SNL, let’s get some original ideas. bahahaha. “May I blow my nose on your sandwich? HO HO HO HO”

And now to end with a random line from James about poor Tim Tebow’s concussion and flu yesterday:

James: i was hoping he was throwing up because he was actually gay and suffering from body issues. in my eyes, he was loosing weight to ask me to marry him.

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Filed under Retroaction, Song / Dance

things you should know: I am a nerd.

and so: Merlin*. (i’m currently waiting for it to buffer, because while NPH is awesome, his Dr. Horrible spot on the Emmy’s didn’t actually teach me anything.)
Colin Morgan** as Merlin

Colin Morgan** as Merlin

I like that every time something could “destroy Camelot,” Uther sends out his heir apparent to kill it. Uther is a moron. It’s like, yes, please keep putting Arthur in harm’s way even though you’re not married and you don’t have any other kids. Jesus. He’s seriously the worst king ever. Also, every time something goes wrong, he locks away the poor people and Arthur (‘cuz you know he noble and shit) has to go save them. By which I mean, Merlin hides behind the scenes and does some sorcery and saves everyone, and then someone else takes the credit. Sigh.

(time break)

I tried to find a video of this idiocy, you know, a mash up… of course, all that came up was Merlin/Arthur shipper fan videos. God, people are weird. Anyhow, since I couldn’t find that nonsense, and since I really do honestly enjoy the show, here’s the season 2 trailer:

Squee. Arthur and Gwen sittin’ in a tree – ohaithar Lancelot!

*I realize that the series is ridiculously inaccurate, and that merlin and arthur and gwen and morgana couldn’t have possibly have known each other as teenagers, but i don’t care.
**Colin Morgan is my boyfriend.

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Filed under Things I Find Interesting